Before I really start writing what I want to write, I want to say this. I have this feeling that someone is going to read this who is in a lot of pain. I am not sure who you are or what you are going through, but I want you to know that I am praying for you. No pressure, but if you want to connect, so that I can pray more feel free to connect to me Sean Kavanagh on facebook or through email firstname.lastname@example.org . I just had to get that off my chest.
I don't know exactly where I want this post to go, but I know I need to write. Feel me? The 2 words that have been most relevant in my life lately are "Patience" and "Transition". It seems they kind of go hand in hand.These last 3 or 4 months have been awful at times and at other times I have felt too blessed. I left a serious relationship in January, well maybe not "I left", Let's just say it ended. That sucked, but I have learned to say "God is sovereign". That alone helps me calm down. I had a plan set and well things did not work out my way. I was so impatient with life. I wanted answers or something. I quit my job and lost the woman I was in love with. I have been job searching since and it is official I have a new job!
There are 3 areas in my life where I feel incredibly impatient.
1.) With Myself- I am by no means a perfectionist, but I get frustrated when I am not where I want to be. I need to remember that God has me he for a reason. I have issues. We all do. I want them to just go away, but that's just not logical. I must work at them and of course trust that God is more than big enough to squash those problems. I like to beat myself up way too much. I have goals and dreams though. I want to get there, but sometimes life stops you and makes you smell the roses. Sometimes it is like, I want everything to just happen overnight. I have big things coming, but I need patience.
2.) With This World- I hate this place sometimes and I just want to go to Heaven. Now don't get me wrong. I love life, but sometimes this place we live in sucks. I was just at an event recently that sounded great, but it was just full of vulgarity and debauchery. It was ugly. I am not trying to blame specific people or to sound judgmental. I just am sick of all the garbage sometimes. Whether it's violence, hate, sexual exploitation, extreme arrogance, racism, or whatever. This can make me seriously feel ill, but I know what I need to do. God has me on this earth for a reason. I need to make the most of it. I need to show other people what joy is.
3.) With God- This one is one of the most difficult, but it is actually quite ridiculous that anyone should get impatient with God. God's timing is perfect. Nuff said.
This transition for me has been frustrating, but I have seen much growth in myself and I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of new friends and connected with a lot of awesome people. I have been able to write more and present my poetry more. I look forward to whatever is next.
If you have been feeling impatient lately, let's be patient together. Let's trust that things will work out how God wants them to work out, which is always the best way.
Grace and Peace